I normally don’t like to share personal experiences that much, but I felt like I needed to get this out there. I like many people in this world, suffers from sever bouts of anxiety. Sometimes I act on the fears running around, other times I act like everything is fine.  It looks fine, sounds fine, but inside you’re burning and feel like the air has been vacuumed out. You may want to sit in a room all alone and just sit there, thinking about what went wrong, why am I like this, am I normal, and will I be okay ever again? Other times you go out have fun, face the world then…..SNAP! Your brain goes into overdrive making you question if your boyfriend really loves you or is he waiting for the next best, or is your best friend who asked you to come out tonight really want you to hang out, or just maybe no one even likes you and you should just stay away from people. So you excuse yourself from the social event and go to the bathroom, maybe, you just excuse yourself completely and leave. Why? Well for people who don’t know. We leave because simply being in noise inside our heads and the loudness from a social gathering can wear you down like an over used eraser. So we leave/ hide to avoid unnecessary stimulation, that could end up into a mental break.

People need to be aware of what it’s like in our minds. It’s never silent. God we really wish it would! We can never get a decent night of sleep if we remember that one thing we did and all of a sudden one thought turns into a, “OH MY GOD I HAVE F**KED UP MY LIFE!” episode. Even if you didn’t even fuck up your life, your brain will make you think that you did. Oh, and your girlfriend/boyfriend/fiance(e)/wife/ husband, or whoever did something that makes you feel like they don’t care or love you, have a chat and make sure they know about your anxiety and PLEASE tell them how they can help when you feel your anxiety creep up. Staying silent and letting your anxiety build up will almost certainly cause a drift in any relationship you have. Sometimes it’s better to make sure both parties talk about any possible mental health problems so you can learn about each other and how you can help. This will also help build a foundation of trust and understanding as well.

Anyway I felt like I needed to get this out there.

Love you all,

Ashley

 

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